Angel Diaries
by Rain on your Back
Summary: Sometimes it's best not to know. Sometimes it's best not to know, but people never do the things that would be best for them. Series of drabbles.


**Name :** Angel Diaries

**Author :** Rain

**Disclaimer :** Shaman King belongs to Hiroyuki Takei.

**Soundtrack :** Irgendwas das bleibt [Anything that remains] (Silbermond)

* * *

**Entry 001** – God, Christopher

He wants to destroy us all. Not only us, the X-Laws, but all Shamans in the tournament, weak and strong alike, all our kin and the humans. We can't let that happen, even if we are weak, even if we must die; there must be a way to weaken him somehow. God is in Jeanne, I can see it, I can feel it. She can kill him. She'll save us all. She'll save all the others, even if we have to die for her. It doesn't matter. Hao can't kill her.

God can't let that happen.

Unless Hao is God.

* * *

**Entry 002** – Bittersweet, Kevin

Death is no easy thing to catch.

When Death finally came to the door of us angels, we greeted it somberly. It seemed to us it had taken forever coming. One might think dying against Hao in the arena is very quick, and almost painless in the way it is an instant kill, but one would be wrong; we certainly have time enough to think about all the powers that brought us here to die. We have time enough to curse and long for this life of pains that has finally come to its end.

And it's a bittersweet agony.

* * *

**Entry 003** – Hate, Meene

Hate is a powerful motive. It's a fuel we never run out of, we humans. Hate for those who step on us so carelessly, hate for those who never even saw what they were breaking in the first place.

Hate is an ever-present burden. It's there as we eat, as we train, as we laugh even. It's there in all of us, even in the purest of the pure like Jeanne. I find it sad, even though I can't do a thing against it. Hate tarnishes. With that dark mist over our heads, we are forever marked as the damned.

* * *

**Entry 004** – Love, Larky

For most of us it's an absurdly foreign notion. Or maybe not so foreign as forgotten. Yes, most of us did feel this at one point; we all had parents – though all of us did not love them –and Kevin had a girlfriend once, before Hao.

Some others, like Jeanne or Meene, did not and probably will not ever feel such a thing for someone who isn't family. It's unfair. It's stupid. And every loving speech of our Light on the power of kindness and forgiveness makes it harder.

Because none of us can teach them. None of us remember.

* * *

**Entry 005** – Immortality, Pof

Who never dreamed about immortality? Who, as a youngling, did not think himself eternal? Not us. Every one of us had a brilliant path shining in front of him, with friends and money and wives and husbands and family. Every one of us was sure they'd live forever in that warm and tight cocoon of a life.

Until Hao came along. He is the one who took our dreams and immortality from us. He is the one who turned our shiny path into a dusty wasteland. Worst of all, he is the immortal one.

That is his most unforgivable sin.

* * *

**Entry 006 **– Death, John

We don't fear death. Death is for sinners, and our souls bear no sin.

Our souls mingle together, a communion permitted by our iron faith and the purity of our minds. We are one as we attack, our weapons and minds drawn towards the enemy's defeat.

The problem is, there is one sin I never mentioned to anyone, one sin I couldn't even acknowledge before it was too late. I love, I lust for another angel. I'm not pure anymore. I didn't believe enough. We will fail and it'll be my fault.

God saves us all, I'm a sinner too.

* * *

**Entry 007** – Happiness, Marco

Happiness is overrated. Everyone try to plunge headfirst into the stream of life to fish for even only a sliver of happiness, whatever the costs might be.

Fools. Happiness should come with a price tag, something that would spell like "caution: can disappear at any time, even if it doesn't make sense". Especially if it doesn't make sense. One lunatic can take everything from you, and you won't be able to do anything about it because, even if you have special abilities, you've tried all your life to be a normal human being.

As I said, happiness is vastly overrated.

* * *

**Entry 008** – Destroy, Lyserg

He is the Destroyer, she is our Protector. They are as much antitheses as two can get. He destroyed each of us, relentlessly. He slaughtered us angels on the ring, each at a time, taking pleasure in his kills. And she still pretends her feelings have no part in this, that she feels for us only as a shepherd might care for his sheep. Does she think I can't see? Does she think I have no eyes? Because I do, and I've seen the way it damages her, destroys her.

It is only right she should destroy him as well.

* * *

**Entry 009** – Dark, Jeanne

This place is so dark. What am I doing here again? Right, saving humanity. That ought to count for something. That ought to be enough for me to forget all about him and his indecent proposals.

I've always been afraid of the dark. That's because I know who lurks in these inky black corners. At night, he calls to me… Speaking to me when all rest, whispering deceitfully sweet lies. I'm afraid of him. Afraid of why he likes to speak to me that much.

But what scares me the most is knowing he waits for me with open arms.

* * *

**Entry 010** – Light, Luchist

The air seems sweeter at this exact moment, empty of the stench of dust and death. Now that I stand here, the freest man of all in this hell of a life, I find myself thinking back on those I left behind.

I know they're afraid, all of them, and those who shout the loudest are the most scared. I know they hate me, the traitor and deserter. They're not wrong. Mayhaps not right either.

Above all those who rest, in the lands of the livings like the dead, shines that sweet morning light that makes this worth the while.

* * *

**Rain :** Few, that stayed for a while in my computer. I'm wondering whether this is okay... But I couldn't leave it like that, it seemed sad! -_-''

**Jeanne :** ... That makes about as much sense... As **nothing** at all...

**Rain :** … You're right... I think I have a bit of a fever...


End file.
